Feature Stories

School Violence: Practical Strategies To Protect Your Kids

School shootings. Those words strike fear in parents' hearts, and leaves them searching for answers. Child psychologist Mark Weist, Ph.D., director of the Center for School Mental Health Assistance at the University of Maryland School of Medicine, provides practical tips and strategies parents can use to help protect their kids in the following interview.

Q. What steps can parents take to decrease the risk their child might act violently?

A. The general relationship dimensions are really important. For example, to be eating dinner regularly with your child, to be having good communication, to be talking about and being very involved in their lives. We're learning that even though kids, particularly teenagers, don't like it when their parents are really involved, the best thing for long-term adjustment is to know where they are, to know their friends and parents of their friends.

Also, make sure the young person is connected to people within the school, such as classmates, teachers, coaches, school counselors, etc. The more positive the social network is for the student in the school, the less likely they're going to be involved in any violent behavior.

Q. What are some specific signs that might indicate to a parent their child may have a problem?

A. A dramatic change in behavior, angry outbursts, reclusive behavior, isolating themselves to their rooms, problems of communication, refusing to talk, school problems, changes in appearance, seeming less concerned about appearance and affiliating with kids who appear to have problems. That's a huge issue in adolescence. If the kids in the peer group are doing the wrong thing, there's an over 90 percent chance the child is also doing the wrong thing.

Q. How would you recommend parents act on those concerns?

A. Part of the difficulty is that if there's not a good relationship established it makes it difficult to do much. So the important thing is to develop and maintain a good relationship from early childhood and in particular as the young person approaches adolescence. So if the context is one of a good relationship, parents should really reach out and discuss the issues and have an open dialogue. If the context is one of a poor relationship then it's a little more difficult. Parents should try to reach out, to involve other family members who may have a better relationship with the child, to seek help from a mental health professional early on and to engage other resources in the child's life.

Q. What can or should parents say to their children about school shootings?

A. We can't become reactionary. Good schools are kind of foundational to our society, and places where students feel safe. Objectively, overall incidents of violence in schools have decreased since the early '90s. Now these unusual school shootings have increased, but they remain very, very rare events. So it's important to convey a message that schools are safe places.

Q. Teasing and bullying are often cited as potential causes that lead to violence. What actions can parents take to help kids cope?

A. Convey the message that this is something millions of young people go through and to encourage them toward a positive self-image. That regardless of this, you have a lot of strengths, and to help them connect with those strengths. Another approach is to share personal stories, to talk about how you were taunted or teased and how you coped with it. You can also convey the message that if you're being teased but you're doing the right thing in terms of school and community life, regardless of the teasing, you're probably going to be successful. The kids who are being very mean and cruel are the ones at risk for a lot of problems in their life.

Q. What role does the violence kids are exposed to on TV, in movies, music and video games play in all this?

A. I think the media influences are very significant. It's a problem in our society the way we've really protected free speech to the level where almost anything can be out there in front of kids and adolescents. We have lots of violence in multiple media, including TV, movies, video games and music, and that violence does affect kids. Theres a tendency to discount that as significant. For example, there's some evidence that some of these video games actually teach kids weapon-related skills.

Q. What can parents do to limit this exposure to violence?

A. Be involved in your child's life, all the way until your young person leaves. Adolescents, even if they are 17 or 18, if they're living in the parents' home, have to follow the parents' rules. I have a teenager myself, and I would want to monitor all the games, music and movies they're purchasing or renting, look at lyrics and test video games out, and if they are offensive in any other way, set limits that this is not acceptable in my home. Teenagers often resent this kind of parental behavior that might be considered intrusive, but we're really beginning to learn through a number of national studies that that kind of behavior really is necessary. Kids who have those kinds of limits set on them really tend to do better.

Q. What role can school-based mental health programs like the one you're involved with in Baltimore play in curbing school violence?

A. A huge role, in that there's evidence to believe that in children and adolescents, mental health is the most neglected of any health care need. The challenge is to reach the kids who have serious mental health needs who aren't being reached, and theres evidence that less than one-third of the kids with serious problems receive any mental health care. And the care those do receive is very minimal.

A major way to bridge the gap is by developing what we call expanded school mental health programs. These provide a full array of mental health care assessment, treatment, case management and prevention for youth in general, with strong partnerships between schools and community agencies. That's what we have in our department. Our school mental health program is in 27 schools in Baltimore, and we provide all those services to students.

One of the main benefits to these types of programs is that we're reaching lots of kids who otherwise wouldn't receive care, in particular those kids that have internalizing problems like depression and anxiety. We're also documenting positive outcomes in terms of improved grades and attendance. Baltimore happens to be a leading city in this. The program I direct, the School Mental Health Program, is one of the longest standing in the country.

Q. Any final tips or suggestions that can help parents and kids in regards to school violence?

A. If you're very frustrated in accessing mental health care for your child in school or in your community, don't just passively accept that. The biggest need in most communities is for people to come together to develop coalitions and to be developing advocacy to press on the local and state legislators to change the way things are. We have to raise awareness of the tremendous problems youth have in accessing appropriate mental health care, and in raising awareness about things to bridge the gap, such as expanded school mental health programs. We really need families to get involved, because they have the most powerful voices in influencing the system.

For more information on the Center for School Mental Health Analysis and Action, visit the Center's Web site http://csmh.umaryland.edu/

This page was last updated on: August 21, 2009.

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